Independent [*]uckers!

Wow, here's a newsflash: "Babies not as innocent as they pretend." Take out Babies and insert Congressmen, shady auto mechanic outfits, and men I end up falling for and the gist of the headline remains the same.

According to behavioral researchers, infants begin to lie from as young as six months. Wow, no shit. They realize that their whining and cooing gets them attention, and they exhibit the appropriate behaviors to elicit the response they desire. I learned that pretty early on because I was a daddy's girl!

Speaking of fabrications, Fred Thompson "facts" have replaced those about Chuck Norris in the realms of the Internet I visit regularly. Here are a few favorites of mine:

Fred Thompson once ended a filibuster by ripping out a Senator's heart and showing it to him before he died.

The actual cause of global warming: Fred Thompson's burning rage.

The budget to Law & Order was dramatically increased when Fred Thompson was added to the cast because he has to be digitally inserted into the scenes since anytime he's near Hollywood liberals, he kills them.

Fred Thompson once stood on our south border and glared at Mexico. There was no illegal immigration for a month.

Scientists predict that when Fred Thompson dies he'll explode taking out the five nearest planets before collapsing into a black hole.

At a campaign stop, a Belgian Hound tried to hump Fred Thompson's leg. That breed of dog no longer exists.

When terrorists get to the afterlife, they'll find that none of their seventy-two women are still virgins. Why? Because of Fred Thompson.

Some versions of the Bible have Mathew 5:5 read, "Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth... unless Fred Thompson wants it."

You can read more at FredThomsponFacts.com